You Can’t Leave This Earth Without Skinny Dipping

You Can't Leave This Earth Without Skinny Dipping.

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You Can’t Leave This Earth Without Skinny Dipping

It’s well past midnight. I feel the warm breeze of the pacific ocean hit my body like a title wave. A title wave that penetrated every pore in my skin. For some reason I tried not to smile just to see if I could. It wasn’t happening. I couldn’t seem to control my ear to ear grin as I took off my shoes, and took my first step into the powdery sand. The feeling of the microscopic grains going in between each of my toes gave me goose bumps. I loved feeling the burn in my calves as I struggled to keep my balance while walking on such unfamiliar turf. I get down on my knees and do a forward snow angel in the sand. I slowly stretch out my spine, as each hand is completely engulfed in beach powder.
I glance up at the midnight sky. The deep purple clouds seemed to be moving one hundred miles an hour over the pale full moon. I see a red ring around the moon. In the superstitious world, this means a sign of trouble not far away. I think the world could have split in two and started on fire, and I wouldn’t have cared. All I could think of was how good everything felt.
At this point it only felt natural to take off all of my clothes. I start with my tee shirt. I slowly removed it as a tropical gust of wind hit my bare back. Off goes the belt. I feel a release in my slightly sweaty waste line as I peel off my Levis. I stand there looking over the waves violently crash in with the reflection of the moon hitting the dark water. My heart beating a little faster as I slowly remove the last article of clothing remaining on my body. I stand there one hundred percent naked to the world. I look over the endless ocean. At this moment I felt like the only man existing on the universe. My breath is taken away as another sensual breeze seeps it’s way in between my legs. I marvel at the foreign feeling this left me feeling below my navel.
I take off running as fast as I can over the damp area of sand. The spot where the waves creep up as far as they can, and sometimes leave a splash. I let out an audible yelp as drops of water splash up above my knees. Not even watching where my feet land, I manage to somehow maneuver around bits of sea glass, barnacles, and broken shells. It was like everything was placed in it’s proper order to not get in the way of destroying an impeccable moment I was destined to have.
I see a perfect wave on it’s way to the shore. I stand knee high in the salty ocean waiting for it to crash into my naked body. It knocks me off my feet as I feel my uncovered behind drag against the smooth ocean floor. The water was warmer than the air. I personally believe there is a certain endorphin that is released when people skinny dip. The blissfulness of this feeling couldn’t compare with any kind of narcotic. I was on cloud nine.
I was back stroking out into the blue as far as I could, not caring what kind of hungry creatures were lurking below. I stop for a minute treading water looking up at the sky wanting this moment to never end. The water was just cold enough to be refreshing, but not at all uncomfortable. I dive into the water. I loved the feeling of the water having no clothes to catch hold of. My body felt like butter as I caught on-coming waves.
It must have been the rapid ocean water the left me so disoriented as I approached land. I had no recollection of where I carelessly dropped my clothes. I didn’t seem to care as I dove back in the waves for round two.

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Just cause it’s funny.

1. Argument to the person: I had a fun experience with this one. Well, I always have fun experiences with this one. One experience in particular sticks out. I was in debate class discussing whether marijuana should be legal or not. There were two different girls on opposing sides. They were polar opposite genres of white trash. One was your classic burn out goth rebel. She was fighting for the legalization of weed. The other was a rodeo queen who spent the majority of her time drinking excessive amounts of bud light while sitting seat belt-less next to her fox racing boyfriend in his beloved diesel truck. The debate was going a little something like this:
Burn out- Marijuana should be legal, it is less harmful for you than alcohol. Alcohol brings out aggression.
Rodeo Queen- No it doesn’t! There are girls out on the streets selling their bodies for pot!
Burn out- Hmmm, really? There are girls prostituting themselves for weed? Interesting. Where did you experience this?
Rodeo Queen- (In a raised tone) I uh uh, you do! You probably do!
Burn out- Ha! I’m a marijuana whore?!

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Hey black fridee shoppers! I’m throwing some new, rambunctious work up for sale! Two hundred each for these oil paintings.

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Crazy Horse Video By Neil D. Johnson


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“The Facebook Follies”

I’d like to take this moment to introduce everyone to the star attraction of my upcoming book based on true events called ‘The Facebook Follies.” People ask me all the time, they say “Zach, don’t you feel like a real asshole for blogging about these people’s lives?”  I say ” Absolutely not! All it takes is a little nerve. If they have the nerve to post it to the world, I have the nerve to write about it.” So there you have it.  More antics and shit storms around the corner, in the mean time…

(Please don’t read if you get offended by vulgarity)

hey can some one come get me i’m on oasis. walking
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Anonymous: Y r u there

Anonymous: dont talk to him britney

Utah J Robinson: You can do what ever you want girl. I’m sorry but you sis an mom both suck nigger cock. Talk shit noelle…. Haters keep hating, your nothin but a two face liar. Good ridens
Anonymous: no she cant atleast im clean and sober so goodbye

Anonymous: God damn stop fighting I just ask a question damn both chill the fuck out

Utah J Robinson: I am clean you dumb bitch at least i’m not some whore!!!! Got another house an everything. What do you got? Nothing as usual….

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I have finally finished my latest “Crazy Horse” piece.  I’m quite excited about this one.  I experimented with different molding pastes, and of course broken sea glass, and sugar.  Neil Johnson ( was the mastermind to this project.  We did a video, time lapse to this painting.  It’s going to be really wild once the final touches are done in editing.  It’s performance art in and of itself.  This video will not be your average time lapse, there was some fight club inspiration.  That’s all I’ll say for now.  I will keep all of you posted on when the video is ready to be viewed.  In the mean time, I am selling this painting.  I was saving it for the show, but I am taking things a different direction for October’s show.  I am selling it for $400.

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